Orlando

Title: Orlando
Author: Virginia Woolf
Published: 1928 originally, this edition 2004 by Vintage.
Genre: Biography
Pages: 215


One last book for 2012! Started with a classy note, ending in a similar way. Jolly good. *puffs on an imaginary pipe*

Born in the times of Queen Elizabeth -the one who lived 1533-1603, not the current one- Orlando is a young nobleman who, as the years and lovers pass, doesn't seem to age. He is a beautiful man, a dreamer and a poet, and thanks to his noble birth, when his heart is broken in England, he takes off to Turkey, to become an ambassador, only to return home years later, as a woman.

Turkey might be an interesting holiday destination...

Anyhoo. One could go on about how Virginia based Orlando on her lover, Vita Sackville-Baggins West, and all the gender issues which are really interesting to read about, frankly, from the point of view of someone in whose times these things, differences between men and women and their strict roles, were such a bloody big issue. And to see them through someone who has lived both sides of the coin. At times the writing felt long-winded and there were moments when I wanted to slap Orlando a little, but I enjoyed the whole ride. Woolf's tone was very humorous at points, and she can write rambling sentences like a boss.


Nature, who has played so many queer tricks upon us, making us so unequally of clay and diamonds, of rainbow and granite, and stuffed them into a case, often of the most incongruous, for the poet has a butcher's face and the butcher a poet's; nature, who delights in muddle and mystery, so that even now (the first of November 1927) we know not why we go upstairs, or why we come down again, our most daily movements are like the passage of a ship on an unknown sea, and the sailors at the mast-head ask, pointing their glasses to the horizon; Is there land or is there none? to which, if we are prophets, we make answer "Yes"; if we are truthful we say "No"; nature, who has so so much to answer for besides the perhaps unwieldy length of this sentence, has further complicated her task and added to our confusion by provding not only a perfect rag-bag of odds and ends with us-a piece of a policeman's trousers lying cheek by jowl with Queen Alexandra's wedding veil-but has contrived that the whole assortment shall be lightly stitched together by a single thread.

And that's when I kinda fell in love with Virginia Woolf a little. I think I'm going to re-watch the movie made of Orlando now that the book is still in somewhat fresh memory, although that one sentence, and writing it out, has pretty much killed what was left of my brain after the christmas holidays and all the sweets, oh the bloody sweets! I remember liking it, the movie, the first time I saw it, and what's there not to like? Orlandy os played by Tilda Swinton! rowr.

So, bye bye 2012! Thank you for reading, and, umm, let's be careful out there!

Death of a Dustman

Title: Death of a Dustman
Author: M.C. Beaton
Published: 2002 by Grand Central Publishing, originally in 2001.
Genre: Murder mystery dipped in dark humour.
Pages: 226


Oh man, I really should write about these books when I finish them, one by one, not in a big lump like this.

Death of a Dustman is a Hamish Macbeth mystery. Like I said last time I read one of these, almost two years ago, Hamish Macbeth is one of my favourite TV-series. I recently watched it, from start to finish, and didn't want to part with Lochdubh and its people so soon. Even though Hamish, his ex-girlfriend and her father are the only people from the series that I recognised in the book.

Lochdubh's dustman is a right asshole called Fergus, who likes to boss people around, get drunk and beat up his wife. When he gets a proper title of Environment Officer and even an uniform from an over-eager councilwoman who wants to make Scotland green, he becomes worse. So no wonder that he soon ends up dead. The whole village hated his guts, so Hamish and his food-loving constable Clarry have a lot of people to interview.

I read this as a snack in the middle of The Hobbit and Orlando, in only a few days as this was such a light, enjoyable treat between the heavier reading. Funny, also, in a bit of a creepy way. Ended up laughing out loud in the lunch room at work, again. But that was by far the coolest way I've ever read of how to bring down a helicopter. I'mma gonna have to start reading more of this series. I'm not going to mind.


Hamish drove slowly around the network of one-track roads joining the outlying crofts, and then out on the main Lochdubh-Strathbane road. The rain had stopped and the clouds had rolled back from the mountains. The blazing heather on either side of the road glittered with raindrops. He rolled down the window and breathed in the scent of wild thyme, heather and pine. The magnificence of the glorious landscape reduced the nasty little doings of men to insignificance. 
And then, as he crested a hill, he saw the shambling figure of the tramp on the road ahead of him. He drove up and stopped just in front of Sean and jumped down.

Proven Guilty

Title: Proven Guilty
Author: Jim Butcher
Published: 2006 in book form but this was an audio book
Genre: Noir urban fantasy
Pages: 406 says Wikipedia.


Aah! It's the 8th Dresden Files -book already! This time, movie monsters are coming alive at a horror movie convention called SplatterCon!!! Molly Carpenter, daughter of Harry's friend Michael, comes to him pleading for help and bail money. Her friend Nelson is wrongly arrested for an assault which, on a closer look, seems almost supernatural. They end up at the convention, where both Molly and Nelson are working at, and shit promptly hits the fan.

Of course, that's not all that Harry needs to concern himself with. There's a war going on, continuing from the earlier books. There's fairy court politics and schemes, and there's wizard council politics and schemes Harry has to pay close attention to these days. He's also kind of smitten on his old friend, to make sure that things don't become too easy for the poor guy. Your basic everyday wizard stuff, a wild rollercoaster ride narrated by James Marsters. Mmm. James Marsters... I think that my favourite bit was when the baddies were trying to sell Harry on Ebay. I remember sitting in a train when it got to that point, and giggling to myself.

Wikiquote has only one tiny quote from this one, the opening line:


"Blood leaves no stain on a Warden's cloak." In Proven Guilty, this gets tested again and again.

The Angel's Kiss

Title: Doctor Who: The Angel's Kiss
Author: Melody Malone with Justin Richards
Published: 2012. Or, 1938.
Genre: Detective stories!
Pages: 873, but you can't get further than 864. So you're stuck at 99%. How annoying!


I got a Kindle! Or, a Kindle application on my phone. Yay. This was read on that. I can also English.

So, I'm a fan of the long-running TV-series Doctor Who, and this book ties in with an episode of the current season. I won't say much, because, you know, spoilers. I'm sorry, I just giggled a little at that. So, yeah, this book ties in with one particular episode, and I jumped at the chance to get to read it when I figured out this Kindle-application.

The plot's pretty basic:one day, Melody Malone receives a client in her New York office. A handsome movie star called Rock Railton is convinced that someone's out to kill him. And when he mentions the kiss of an Angel, she can't but agree to take the case. She is, you see, very familiar with Angels.

The Angel's Kiss is your classic private detective story with the exceptions that a) the protagonist, Melody Malone, is female, and b) it won't make much sense unless you're acquainted with the show Doctor Who, and the way the Angels operate. It's a show for the whole family, so the tone of the book is such that even the younger ones can read it, but I enjoyed it as well. The Angels were my first Doctor Who monsters, and it helps that they're spooky as all living fuck. I also adore the character of Melody in the show, so, it's all good.

Kill Your Friends

John Niven - Kill Your Friends


Well. Umm. I bought this one mostly for the name, and because it was claimed to be just as good as Trainspotting, along many levels, and Trainspotting is one of my absolute favourites. So I picked this up from the shelf and gave it a go. Got up to page 50+ and lost whatever little interest I'd had so far. I just didn't like it. But I'll probably give it another go at some point. In case it was just because I haven't had much time or attention for reading lately. Which is absolutely true. But at least I've been writing a lot!