Royal Assassin

Title: Royal Assassin
Author: Robin Hobb
Published: 1996 originally, by Voyager
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 752




Onwards with the saga! Oh man, poor Fitz. Mrs Hobb can be very cruel to her characters. I really like that in an author.


Fitz is back home in Buckkeep after the rather disasterous adventure that finished the first book, and finds that things are pretty much going downhill at home as well. The red ships are getting bolder, their raids and Forgings closer, and no one is safe. Desperate measures are taken to fight the raiders, and more callous individuals are twisting everything their way to gain more power. Court intrigue, yay!


Oh. My. Giggly. Gollum. I hate Regal. I'd forgotten just how much I fucking hate Regal. I mean, I hate this son of a bitch -quite literally- so much that I don't know whether I hate him or Joffrey more. That much I hate the fucker. He'd play the game of thrones quite well, but I still hate him so.


Considerably longer than the first book, I'd forgotten many of the details, aside from the largest plot points. There was still a sense of dread while reading the book, and several times when I kept telling Fitz No. No. Nooo! Don't! But he never listens. Gulped down the last ~60 pages last night, and jumped straight into the third book. Fair to say I'm about as hooked as the first time around.





   "Chade," I asked, "have you ever killed a man for your own sake?"
   He looked startled. "For my own sake?"
   "Yes."
   "To protect my own life?"
   "Yes. I don't mean when on the King's business. I mean killed a man to ... make your life simpler."
   He snorted. "Of course not." He looked at me strangely. 
   "Why not?" I pressed.
   He looked incredulous. "One simply does not go about killing people for convenience. It's wrong. It's called murder, boy."
   "Unless you do it for your king."
   "Unless you do it for your king," he agreed easily.

Assassin's Apprentice

Title: Assassin's Apprentice
Author: Robin Hobb
Published: 1995 originally, by Voyager
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 440


These books! Robin Hobb's Farseer Trilogy, the Liveship Traders books, and the Tawny Man Trilogy, were some of my absolute favourites through my late-ish teens and early twenties, a time when I was pretty much done with the fantasy genre after some bad reading experiences. But these I loved, passionately so. I was just looking at them over xmas, thinking fondly that it might be nice to read them again, not right now though since I already have so much to read! But then, last week or so, I heard that there's a new book about Fitz and the Fool coming out THIS YEAR. My initial reaction was "Nice, I'll have to check that out." Three seconds, and my second reaction was "RE-READ EVERYTHING! NOW!!!" Sooo...

Assassin's Apprentice starts the first trilogy, and the story of Fitz, a royal bastard who is, you may have guessed by the name, trianed to become an assassin, a king's man, to do the dirty work that no-one else can do. The Six Duchies have been pretty peaceful until one summer a red ship attacks a village by the sea, kidnaps a bunch of people and demands ransom or they'll be released. Yeah, you read that right. Soon enough there are more attacks, and no-one seems to be safe.

There are some properly creepy situations in the book thanks to the red ships, good fantasy, original magics -the Skill and the Wit, one praised and one condemned- and some of my favourite characters. I like Fitz and his truthful way of telling his story, not saving us any fuck-ups. And the Fool! I love the Fool. And the women in the book who are more than damsels in distress or bar wenches. I've read these earliest books so many times that I can remember what's coming next, but damn, I'm still halfway through the next one already. I'll so have all the books re-read before the new one comes out.


   He took a breath through his nose, and then shook his head violently, until his hair stood out all around his skull like a flame around a wind-blown candle. "Fitz!" he said emphatically, his voice cracking a little. "Fitz fitzes fyces fitz. Fatzafices."
   "It's all right," I said soothingly. I crouched a bit, though in reality I was not that much taller than the Fool. I made a soft beckoning motion with my open hand. "Come along, then. Come along. I'll show you the way back home. All right? Don't be afraid now."
   Abruptly the Fool dropped his hands to his sides. Then he lifted his face and rolled his eyes at the heavens. He looked back at me fixedly, and poked his mouth out as if he wanted to spit. 
   "Come along, now." I beckoned him again.
   "No," he said, quite plainly in an exasperated noise. "Listen to me, you idiot. Fitz fixes fyces fitz. Fatsafices."
   "What?" I asked, startled.
   "I said," he enunciated elaborately. "Fitz fixes fyce fits. Fat suffices." He bowed, turned and began to walk away from me, up the trail.
   "Wait!" I demanded. My ears were turning red with embarrasment. How do you politely explain to someone that you had believed for years that he was a moron as well as a Fool? I couldn't. So, "What does all that fitzy-ficeys stuff mean? Are you making fun of me?"