Poison Elves

Title: Poison Elves
Creators: Drew Hayes
Published: 1991-2007
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 100 issues of some 25-30 pages each.


Ever since I picked up the first Mulehide trade paperback on 9th January 1999, I've loved Poison Elves pretty much unconditionally. Drew Hayes is one of my idols, a man who had the balls and the passion to do what he wanted to do: to tell a story, and to tell it well. He wrote, drew, and in the beginning, also printed his comic book of a world of his own creation, centering on one outcast elf, Lusiphur Malache.

The latest (last?) trade paperback came out last year, and I finally got to read it, after going through all the previous ones, for how manyeth time I've no clue anymore. It doesn't include issues 76-80, so perhaps there'll be one last collection. The story itself doesn't end there, but unfortunately Drew Hayes died a little over two years ago, at the age of 37, before he could finish his saga.

So what's it about then? There's elves, magic, wizards, witches, thieves, assassins, magic swords, all those things you'd expect in a fantasy comic or book. But there's also much ass-kicking, graphic violence, sex, attitude, nods towards notorious serial killers in our world, and a whole lot of humour. Oh, and boobs. Lots of boobs. And some very nice bras covering them. It's not for everyone, but what in this world really is? (Suggest Garfield and I'm ripping out your colon and strangling you with it.) Poison Elves is highly quotable, funny, highly addictive, and, perhaps most importantly, completely unique. I don't think it ever got as many fans it deserves, but those that have become fans tend to stay that way. I know I will.

Like said, Poison Elves is highly quotable, and I could write up a long list of favourites without having to pick up any of the comics. But to choose one, here's one of the unforgettables from Lusiphur's nemesis, the Purple Marauder:


"TO THE SKIES, FORNICATORS, TO GAZE UPON THE FACE OF TRUE REDEMPTION! IT IS I - THE WHISPER OF FEAR IN THE NIGHT! YEESSS! THE PURPLE MARAUDER IS UPON YOU AND THE ACTION IS RAW! NYAR! THOUGH MY TRADEMARK HAT WAS LOST TO THE WIND LAST TUESDAY, I HAVE THESE!

"GUNS! NYAR!

"AND AFTER HE UTTERLY DESTROYS YOU FOUR, THE MARAUDER WILL BE ABLE TO BUY... BULLETS!"


Then he gets his ass kicked, as he should.

Rest in peace, Drew, and thanks.